I've Outgrown It

Devotional Reading: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 (NRSV)

Scripture Focus: 1 Corinthians 13:11 (NRSV)

"11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways."

I struggled with writing this particular devotional message to share. For the fear of being too transparent, I considered writing a nice, neat message of hope and inspiration. But, I would be doing a disservice to myself and to those reading this post if I did not write the message that is so deeply stirring within me.

Before I share my innermost thoughts, I want to give a little background context. In this chapter, Paul wrote a message to the church at Corinth to provide them with "a more excellent way" of interacting with one another. This chapter is described as a "praise of love." I must note quickly that Paul wanted to make sure that his audience understood that although we may have spiritual gifts, if we don't have love, the gifts we display is just a bunch of noise. Okay, whew! The theologian in me had to make mention of Paul's opening statement in the chapter and an issue he sought to address. However, I would like to deal with this from a different perspective, not so much about love and spiritual gifts, but about love and maturity.

The other day, I had an experience that caused me to revisit emotional pain from my past. To be more specific, it was a childhood hurt that has lingered throughout my life, and will resurface from time to time. The pain of rejection, and the pain of being disconnected from an authentic expression of love and warmth all came flooding back to my mind because of a memory. I have found that it doesn't always have to be an active situation in your life that will cause you pain, but a memory of what happened can trigger the pain, and the emotional trauma attached to it can take center stage in your life.

When I was reminded of the pain a few days ago, I thought to myself, I don't have to deal with it anymore, I'm grown. However, the feelings that I have wrestled with for years have not always been adult-like. The emotions have often been reminiscent of the same little girl who was full of hurt and pain because of how people made me feel. I am reminded of a quote that is attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." And at some point, I have to be mature enough in my emotions to stop giving consent to people to make me feel some type of way. After recognizing the freshness and frequency of the pain, I understood that the only way I would ever outgrow this raw feeling and revisiting the emotional trauma was to come to a place where I reposition myself in the relationships with those persons. You see, what happened will always be a memory, but how I allow it to affect me is what I have learned and will continue to learn to outgrow.

Once you know what love should look like, feel like and be like in your life, you will never accept a love that comes short of the love Paul speaks about in 1 Corinthians 13. He describes love as patient, kind, not envious, not arrogant and not rude, it endures all things, and it never ends. Anything that does not produce love should be dealt with appropriately. What does that mean? It means, when you know people are not demonstrating love towards you, you have the right to remove or distance yourself from the situation. This is what I mean by stating, "I've outgrown it." When you are able to do whatever it takes to protect your emotional and physical well-being, you have learned to outgrow the interactions and relationships that are void of love. The child in you will ask, "why do they keep hurting me?" The adult in you will say, "I will no longer allow them to hurt me."

Closing Prayer: Dear God, thank you for loving me best. You are love and my relationship with you teaches me to understand the true nature of love. You loved me even during times when I did not know how to love myself. I am amazed by your love for me.

Daily Reflection: What changes can you make in your life to protect yourself from relationships that are void of love?